The Words shared by A Father That Rescued Me during my time as a Brand-New Dad

"I think I was merely just surviving for the first year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the challenges of being a father.

However the truth quickly turned out to be "very different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health problems during the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Abruptly he was thrust into acting as her chief support in addition to caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I took on all the nights, each diaper… every walk. The duty of both mum and dad," Ryan stated.

Following eleven months he reached burnout. That was when a talk with his father, on a public seat, that helped him see he required support.

The direct phrases "You are not in a good spot. You need support. What can I do to assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to express himself truthfully, seek support and regain his footing.

His situation is commonplace, but rarely discussed. While society is now better used to addressing the stress on mothers and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the struggles new fathers face.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan feels his struggles are part of a broader inability to talk amongst men, who still internalise damaging notions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and stays upright with each wave."

"It isn't a show of being weak to ask for help. I didn't do that fast enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, notes men frequently refuse to admit they're having a hard time.

They can think they are "not justified to be asking for help" - particularly in front of a mum and baby - but she emphasises their mental state is just as important to the family.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad gave him the opportunity to request a break - spending a couple of days away, outside of the home environment, to gain perspective.

He came to see he had to make a change to focus on his and his partner's emotional states as well as the day-to-day duties of looking after a newborn.

When he opened up to Louise, he realised he'd failed to notice "what she was yearning" -physical connection and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has transformed how Ryan perceives parenthood.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he hopes his son will read as he gets older.

Ryan believes these will help his son to better grasp the expression of emotion and understand his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen was without reliable male guidance. Despite having an "incredible" bond with his dad, profound emotional pain meant his father found it hard to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, making difficult their connection.

Stephen says bottling up emotions resulted in him make "poor decisions" when younger to change how he felt, finding solace in substance use as escapism from the anguish.

"You find your way to substances that aren't helpful," he explains. "They might temporarily change how you feel, but they will eventually make things worse."

Tips for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you feel overwhelmed, confide in a friend, your spouse or a professional what you're going through. This can to lighten the load and make you feel less isolated.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the activities that allowed you to feel like you before having a baby. It could be playing sport, meeting up with mates or gaming.
• Don't ignore the physical health - eating well, getting some exercise and if you can, resting, all are important in how your mental state is faring.
• Meet other first-time fathers - listening to their journeys, the challenges, along with the positive moments, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Remember that seeking help does not mean you've failed - looking after your own well-being is the optimal method you can care for your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen naturally struggled to accept the passing, having been out of touch with him for many years.

As a dad now, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his child and instead offer the security and emotional guidance he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a tantrum, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - managing the feelings safely.

Both Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they acknowledged their struggles, altered how they express themselves, and taught themselves to control themselves for their sons.

"I have improved at… dealing with things and handling things," states Stephen.

"I wrote that in a note to Leo the other week," Ryan says. "I wrote, at times I think my job is to instruct and tell you how to behave, but in reality, it's a exchange. I am discovering just as much as you are on this path."